ROMANIA
Fire! romerican
Between 16:40 and 16:45 on Sunday, December 17, 2006, an unknown arsonist
started a blaze in a local cartier of Braşov, Romania.
Within minutes, residents from the block apartments began gathering to assess
the danger and organize a hazard containment plan to protect their
neighborhood. I heard the sounds outside and went to the porch to see what the
commotion was about.
My first reaction was that the fire department should be called because the
trash fire was rapidly growing into a full blaze directly next to a building
whose contents might either be electrical or mechnical (think: oil, flammable
materials). There were also cars parked nearby and a lot more trash on hand.
Who could know how nasty things might get?

Using a cell phone to dial 112 (the equivalent of America’s 911), the call was
answered by a dispatcher almost immediately. When she understood the nature of
the emergency, the dispatcher took down name information and then quickly
transfered the call to Braşov’s fire department.
Answering the phone around 16:51, the pompieri representative sounded as
though he’d been awoken from a semi-sleep stupor induced by watching old
Married With Children episodes. Half-heartedly, he asked if the fire was big.
Well, let’s see, I don’t know what big means, but this is decent-sized and
growing. It’s threatening a small building, additional trash bins, and some
nearby cars.
The public safety official pretty much lost all interest. If it wasn’t big
enough to cause screaming panic on the part of the caller, then the entire
thing would probably resolve itself and burn out like a small campfire for
roasting marshmallows. He seemed to fumble around for a pencil before
lackadaisically going through the motions of asking for the location of the
fire, whether anyone had been burned, et cetera.
He then advised to call again, if the fire got worse. Thanks for calling. Bye
now.
Sure, I hadn’t really expected 18 ladders to appear from nowhere, but I had
expected a professional fire department properly trained in modern public
safety standards to send at least a single truck to the scene pretty much
right away. To have a pompieri emergency operator basically yawn at reports of
a fire, well, frankly, it brought questions about Romania’s fitness to join
the European Union.
Fortunately, a few people living nearby were already carting buckets of water
to and fro the neighborhood bar de zi to douse the flames.
Their action was a crucial tactic in the face of Braşov’s failure to send
pompieri. There aren’t many ground-level water sources in the area from which
to fill buckets and it seems no one owned a hose. But the guys managed to keep
some water flowing toward the fire, like a line of ants each carrying a single
drop.
It seemed to help at first, but the fire had struck gold and resurged with
intensity as regular citizens inhaled the toxic smoke of burning plastic,
rubber, and chemicals and literally walked on burning embers with tennis shoes
trying to toss buckets of water on the heart of the blaze.
Between the bucket brigade, dirt shoveling
residents, and an old man standing around to direct action at anyone who would
listen, the untrained fire fighters waged a pitched battle for approximately
20 minutes before the fire reached a manageable state.
Without the help of paid city officials, they began dismantling burning
objects from the fire with their bare hands and rolling each hot item in the
dirt until the flames subsided. Then, they’d return again and again to repeat
the process. Ironically smoking cigarettes all the while.

Men from the block apartments continued to watch the dying flames for some
time thereafter, occasionally kicking dirt onto a nearby pile of burning trash
or scooping out hot coals to dump in mud wet from snowmelt. With things
seemingly under control, I began to lose interest like many others.
The remnants of the fire smouldered on.
In fact, later that night somewhere around 22:00, I began to smell strange
fumes in my apartment. Going back to the porch, it was easy to see that the
fire had re-started itself some hours later. I suspect it had managed to light
a car tire, or something similar, on fire judging by the foul stench of the
thick billowing plumes of deep black rising into the night sky.
The event leaves me to wonder whether it’s closer to the truth to say this is
essentially a local problem between Braşov’s water supply and city mayor
George Scripcaru, who is the ultimate executive in charge of fire department’s
policy of not responding to legitimate emergency calls and thus directly
exposing several of Braşov’s citizens to danger, or is this public service
failure indicative of a wider problem across Romania where public safety
officials just like Locotenet-colonel Ioan Rechitean (Inspector Şef of Braşov)
and corresponding government politicians are wholly incapable of providing
basic services to the citizens living within their jurisdiction whom pay the
taxes for their income?
Prognosis is perhaps debatable. Prescription is obvious: change.

EUROPIAN UNION
romerican
romania

You know you’re in
Romania when…
… rabidly pseudo-communist authorities operating within the people’s national
transportation and highway bureaus unrelentingly seek — at every turn — to
thwart your natural right to expose private auto parts in the public space.

Shocking, I know, but unequivocal nonetheless. To ensure clarity in messaging,
Romanians receive directives in easily understood, beginner-level English that
they are unable to enjoy the same freedoms of their westernly counterparts
within the European Union.
Take heart, dear friends. While there is no car penis, it would appear the
next 2 kilometers are naught but sani.

Seen on Calea Bucureşti in Braşov,
the Citroën 2CV was produced
for 42 years (1948-1990) in quantities
approaching 4 million units.
Romerican