Food and Shops

►Alcohol The Finnish Grocery Trade Association is worried that the public’s concern over rising alcohol abuse is leading them to draw the conclusion that the state alcohol monopoly is better for public health.

Adventures in the Czech Republic
A Brit in the Czech Republic. December 2007
potok
In town squares all over the Czech Republic there are large tanks full of carp. Carp or capr as they are called in the Czech Republic are the centre of the Christmas meal - the Czech equivalent of turkey. Shoppers buy the live fish and take them home, even keeping them in the bath until the time comes to kill and eat them .

It’s that time of year again when this spot offers its tribute to the humble Polish Christmas carp.

Letter from Poland Peter Gentle

19.12.06

It’s not that I am obsessed with the prospect of my annual liaison with this particularly seasonal fresh water fish. Or maybe I am. It’s just that this fish symbolizes the culture shock I first felt when I came here from London. Carp, for me, is the very taste of cultural shock.

The main ingredient of a proper Polish Christmas dinner, you see, is not a turkey, it’s a carp.

The first time I was forced to confront this fishy problem was the first Christmas I spent with my Polish girlfriend. That meant going to the Polish girlfriend’s mothers’ for dinner.

I think I was wearing my best shirt, a smile and my best behavior. Best behavior in Poland means that when you are in a Polish house you eat everything that is put in front of you.

Things didn’t start too badly. I was told to expect as a first course beatroot soup with ‘little ears in it’. Beatroot soup with ears? Sounds like something that happened to Vincent van Gough after he got turned down for a bank loan!
The ‘ears’ turn out to be like small ravioli and very nice they are too. So I successfully navigated my way through the beetroot soup without coloring my rather fetching white shirt a deep red. I negotiated my way past the next course - Polish dumplings (pierogi) stuffed with mushroom and cabbage. No problem.

But just as my stomach was crying out for a nice bit of TURKEY, up swam …the herring. Herring! It was with onions and bathed in cream sauce. Oh dear.

What to do with a plate of something that you wish was on someone else’s? Maybe distraction tactics were called for? “Oh, look at the ostrich that has just landed on the balcony?”, as you stuff the herrings down the side of the sofa…

In the end I pushed the herrings round the plate for while, and then in three gulps threw the whole lot down in one.

“Mmm…lovely herring!”

Unfortunately, stuffing down the herring was interpreted by the girlfriend’s mother as a sign that I loved fish.

I don’t.

So when the main event took place – the aquarian finale, the carping culinary Christmas climax, I got an extra large serving of carp.

But not any old carp. On the plate was my biggest nightmare; a meeting of two of my greatest culinary fears; a wobbling realization of a fishy-phobia. On the plate was carp …in jelly!!!!

No, do not adjust your radio sets. Yes, that was: Carp…jelly…

It would have been OK but for the fact that the girlfriend’s mum is a traditionalist – and that means no alcohol at the Christmas table.

No alcohol!

Carp!

Jelly!

A sober jelly fish!

Sitting in front of the girlfriend, the girlfriend’s mother (with expectation that I am absolutely going to love what she had just put in front of me) and not to mention the carp that was giving me the evil eye from within its small quivering pool of gelatin, you could say that I felt a certain pressure. A social obligation.

So I ate it. It was…interesting.

Ever since then I have had an annual sympathy with Polish environmentalists.

Save the carp

Radio Polonia reported on Monday that:

Ecologists in Poland have launched their annual campaign in defense of the carp.

While the fish is a traditional Christmas food in Poland, campaigners say that living carp are often transported, sold and killed in violation of the law, causing much distress and pain to this ‘highly intelligent animal’.

The greens say that they want to put a stop to the admittedly eerie practice of selling live carp in the shops. Walking into a grocer a few days before Christmas and seeing live carp flapping about in a small bucket is an issue, I think, that should be tackled by the new incoming chief of the United Nations (although he’s Korean, and don’t they prefer …er…dog fish?).

Apparently the "Gaja Club" for the protection of the natural environment in Poland has raised a petition addressed to Justice Minister Zbigniew Ziobro, no less, and signed by more than 4 thousand carp liberationists.

Now much as I have sympathy for the Green cause in this case (but only because ‘save the carp’ would mean that I didn’t have to eat it at Christmas time) how on earth do Polish Greenies know that a carp is intelligent?

Did they give it the Times cryptic crossword to do? Are there fish IQ tests? Is there a piscine Mensa Club perhaps?

Still…intelligent or not, carps all over the country are getting ready to join the festivities on the evening of 24th of December. Most Poles love their carp – especially stuffed with almonds.

For me I’ll be having a turkey on Christmas day. It’s what people like me from a different culture do. Until then I’m off to start up the Warsaw chapter of the Carp Liberation Front.

Merry Christmas.

the beATROoT

Environmentalists denounce suffering of Christmas carp

Prague, Dec 19 (CTK) - Czech and Polish environmentalists have set up the Coalition for Non-Bloody Christmas against "carp abuse" at Christmas time, the Czech Animal Freedom and Polish VIVA!

The animal-rights activists protest against the carp inordinately suffering in vats in the streets, where they are sold, before they end up in Czech households.

"The carp in the street vats are injured, ill and hungry and they almost suffocate. It is almost unbelievable that we torment them to celebrate Christmas, we have called the feast of quiet, peace and love," activist Marek Vorsilka from Animal Freedom said.

Carp abuse? No, it’s not the latest accusations against Stanislaw Lyzwinski…

December 20 is Fish Day in Poland, when environmental activists stage demonstrations against the live transportation and sale of carp destined for the Christmas table on December 24.

If you are interested in joining the Carp Liberation Front then meet outside Centrum Handlowego "Wileńska", Targowa Street, Warsaw at 20.00 hrs when a demonstration demanding rights for fish (including the right to vote in Euro and local elections) will take place.

Fish have rights too, you know?

What's Up?! Treasure of Baghdad

- Yo Yo
- What's up?
- Nothing much! Guess what!
- What?
- I had my last class tonight before the spring break!
- Hoooo! Any plans for fun? Umm, not really sure. I have to start writing my novella. But still, it's nice to have a break from work and classes.
- Did you hear the news?
- What news?!
- Lauren didn't attend tonight's class.
- So?!
- She had food poisoning.
- Noooooo?!
- Yes, feels bad!
- Oh No!
- What?
- Jeeeeeeeeeez!
- What?
- Did she go to K ...?
- Yeeeeeeeeees KFC!!!!
- Man! After what NBC reported about the rats they found in KFC, I started freaking out.
- I know! I had the same feeling. It used to be my favorite. But after I saw the rats jumping in front of the camera, I can't even look at any KFC restaurant anymore
- LOL... You know what!
- What? I remembered my mother when I saw the rats on TV!
- Dude, is she a fan of rats?!
- Noooo, exactly the opposite. She hates them like she hates Bush. HAHAHAHA.
- HAHAHAHA.
- She is always against fast food restaurants, even the fancy ones in Baghdad.
- Why is that?
- Because of rats! She thinks all fast food restaurants are dirty! And now all I can think about is what I heard about the rats. LOL... Can't wait to call her tomorrow and tell her about it!
- Why wait until tomorrow? Call her tonight.
- You're right. I'll call her at midnight, which means 8 o'clock there.
- We should be careful. I am not eating anymore in KFC.
- Me neither dude. I don't wanna be in an emergency room! What would people think when they hear that?
- They'll say! Man, he didn't die in an explosion.
- He ate a rat instead of a chicken. HAHAHAHA.
- You are so funny!
- HAHAHA
- Talking about emergency, have you seen this new TV Show on ABC?
- Yeaaah, "In Case of Emergency"
- Man, it's so funny. Yeah, I started liking it more than SCRUBS.
- [Yawn] gotta go to sleep... By the way.
- What?
- I have my laptop fixed.
- Finally!
- I know!!!
- 2 weeks man!
- I know. Even my sister said the other day that 2 weeks is too much in America! she thought they can do it faster than that. She never learned the lesson.

April 20, 2007
Kermanshah Sheep Soccerphile

Kermanshah, in central west Iran, is known for its large flocks of sheep.
The sheep have a dual purpose: meat from the animals is consumed locally and much of the surplus is sent to the capital Tehran, sheep wool is also used in the production of the famous geometric-designed carpets of the area.

Kermanshah carpet design is significantly influenced by the culture of the local Kurds and Loris who live in the area.
Sheep and goats number around 81 million in Iran, according to 2005 figures and outnumber the 71 million humans in the country. Sheep have been a prominent part of the culture of Iran for centuries. A clay image of a sheep which was found at Sarab in Iran dates back to 5000 BCE.
Iran cloned its first sheep in 2006 at Tehran's Royan Institute, though the animal lived only a few minutes, before it could be named.

Soccerphile IRANIAN VISITOR

World's best chilli dog! May 06, 2007 pervez

It's good to be back in Los Angeles!
One of the highlights of this trip was a visit to Pinks in Hollywood. If this is conjuring up seedy images of a dim-lit cabaret bar in a dark alley, think again. We are talking about the most famous hot dog stand in the country. Paul Pink started his hot dog stand in 1939 and sold oversized hot dogs with chilli, mustard and onions in a hot bun for 10 cents.
Today, hot dogs sell for around $3.50 each at the Pinks hot dog stall. It is a small place at the corner of Melrose and La Brea and you can spot it easily because of the crowd gathered around this place. We had to wait in line for over an hour before making our way to the counter. I ordered a spicy Ozzy (polish sausage, grilled onions, mustard, cheese and chopped tomatoes!).
Quite an experience at this historic landmark! Pervez

carpetblogger Kokorec
Because all the best food has a long and important process of washing and cleaning, today we bring you kokorec.

Just like a horizontal doner, but made from the intestines of suckling lambs, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting one of these sidewalk vendors in my 'hood. The stack of intestines is cooked over charcoal, chopped up into mince and mixed with tomatoes and peppers and served on warm bread. There are also restaurants that sell nothing but kokorec, but I predict it's tastiest with a marinade of bus exhaust.
Mmmmm. The EU will have skewered lambs' intestines cooked on the street in their sights when Turkey's membership comes up. I think the Turks can rest easy. Their kokorec isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

I’m blown away. I do not say this lightly.
(I meant a pun, did you not see a pun? Oh bother.)
Seriously, the staff at Uchumi on Ngong Road are the best staff in the business. I could bet my … my … I could bet something significant on it. They’re absolutely brilliant. And I do not say this on the basis of one experience. This has been a long time coming. I should have said it long ago.
They give excellent service. They give it with a smile. They pre-empt your needs without crowding you or hovering. I do not like it when well-meaning people hover. At Uchumi, I find that I have ample space to do my thing, but, every time I have a question, someone promptly steps up on cue, almost as though they read my mind, and offers assistance. If they were any quicker, it would be creepy. It's just right.
And then, whether you’re getting your fresh vegetables weighed or you’re buying pastries at the bakery or your paying your bill at the till, everyone is very pleasant and easy to chat with.
I've become a chatty shopper. (Who'd have thought.)
One time, I’d clearly underestimated how much shopping I was going to do and soon enough, my trolley was overflowing. Along comes this young man pushing an empty, slightly bigger trolley. He says to me,
“Ma’am, I hope you don’t mind my asking but you look like you still have a little way to go. Would you like me to empty out that trolley into this bigger one?”
Me? Gobsmacked.
Another time I was at the till and I realised I did not have my Uchumi Rewards Card and I groaned and the young woman behind the till remarked that I’d done a fair amount of shopping, she’d hate for me to loose the points. She then offered to go over to the Customer Service Desk and use my cell number to retrieve my membership number so that I could still get the points.
Me? Chin Scrapping Floor.
Seriously, whoever is
a)selecting the team
b)training the team
is doing a brilliant job.

Pat yourself on the back and keep it up.
Shopping at Uchumi on Ngong Road has actually calmed my nerves on occasion after a bad day at work.

R What She thinks It's About

15.5.2007 Phil Ravintolat: Finland’s restaurant ripoff

I saw a bus stop advertisement for a Parmesan-Kanahampurilainen (Parmesan Chicken Burger) from a Finnish burger chain and thought how good it looks in the picture. I was hungry and, for 3.50€, how could I go wrong, right? Wrong! Unlike how the picture led me to believe, there were only two tiny strips of chicken inside. They were strategically placed around the edges of the bun to make it look full. But nothing was in the middle except some goopy filler.
Naturally, meat is the most expensive ingredient in any such food product. All other ingredients are dirt-cheap in comparison. I don’t think Finnish consumers have figured this out yet…..but then again, restaurants are relatively empty in Finland. So maybe they have.
There were many well-dressed people waiting in line, so I promptly seized the opportunity to educate by confronting the manager standing behind the counter. I asked, “I ordered a Kanahampurilainen and there are only two tiny pieces of chicken in there?! Where’s the rest?!” Then I proclaimed, “This is dishonest advertising!! ”
My point wasn’t to insult the manager, because I knew the poor guy was only doing his job; he can’t influence the standard product. Nevertheless, I felt the need to make a point when he refused to understand what I was complaining about. So, I took the tiny chicken strips off the bun and set them on the gleaming metal counter.
Then I turned-around to those waiting in-line and said, “Look, I just paid 3.50€ for these two tiny strips of chicken.”
I’ve spoken Finnish all my life, but I have a distinct accent and particular word usage pattern that gives me away every time. Knowing that people are always curious about my funky linguistics, I asked those in line, ” Tunnetteko englantilaisen sanan ‘Ripoff’?”
Of course they knew the word.
Then I told the manager that he could keep the burger two tiny strips of chicken. “Saat pitää.” I turned and walked-out, leaving a little mess on the counter. It felt good because I did it without getting angry and hopefully relayed an important message about consumerism to those standing around me. Unfortunately, it didn’t solve my hunger problem.
In hindsight, it was my own responsibility to first go home and check the product’s ingredients and weights online. I take full responsibility for my mistake and don’t blame nor accuse the Finnish burger chain for doing anything wrong.
One might say that take-away food is an American invention. In the US, I’ve always received more-than-enough for my money—to a fault! But that’s never the case in Finland; there’s always a ripoff.

Finns dishonest?

Näh. I prefer to explain the ripoff using this Tax Wedge equation. As the tax wedge gets bigger, restaurants (suppliers) aim to get higher prices from consumers (demanders). And of course, lower sales volume results.
To avoid lower sales volume, Finnish restaurants can fudge the equation by offering ’seemingly reasonable’ prices but delivering less product—in many cases, deceptively so.
With a big tax-wedge, the restaurants’ high-price position is always secure; high taxes prevent new competitors from entering the marketplace.
From now on, I’ll go to McDonalds when I have the urge for a Kanahampurilainen. But thanks to the big Tax Wedge in Finland, I’ll still need to pay the über-high Finn-price. Nevertheless, at least McD’s seems concerned with offering an honest product. I suppose they have uniform, international standards for these things.
Just don’t anyone tell McD’s management team that Finnish consumers don’t really care about getting value for their money. It’ll ruin everything.

Phil The following stories are true:
Story #1
PLACE: Hesburger Oulu, Finland DATE: June 1997 TIME: sometime in the evening before the 9pm closing time.
American friend who speaks fluent Finnish, in fact most Helsinkians think he is from Oulu, orders a donut and coffee. The donut tastes like it was made last week. He brings it back to the HesWomen at the counter and very politely says it is old. She grabs it, TAKES A BITE OUT OF IT, says “It tastes fine” and then GIVES IT BACK TO HIM.

Story #2
PLACE: McDonalds Oulu, Finland DATE:June 1997 TIME: approx. 9pm
Same friend orders a cheeseburger no onions (he says onions make his sweat stink). Friend bites into cheeseburger only to dicover that there is onions in the burger. He takes it back and politely says he ordered his burger no onions. McWomen behind the counter takes the burger, removes the bun, swipes all the onions off the burger with her finger, puts the bun back on AND GIVES IT BACK TO HIM. Friend goes and sits down fuming (which is rare for this laid back guy). He gets up and goes and gets a ton of ketsup and puts in the burger. He puts the top back on and pounds it with his fist. Ketsup everywhere, he heads for the door. His Finnish girlfriend (now wife) reads him the riot act and makes him clean everything up with wet napkins (kudos to her).

PLACE:McDonalds Itakeskus Helsinki DATE: June 2002 TIME:Midafternoon, Saturday and the place is packed.
Liverbox orders a meal with fries. Liverbox asks for some mayo for dipping the fries in (don’t ask why, it grosses me out now). Liverbox does not get his mayo from the McGirl working the cash register so he decides to ask McSloth who slowing cleaning tables. McSloth says okay and shuffles back into the resturaunt. McSloth shows up 10 MINUTES later after shuffling to and fro in the back of the resturaunt under the watchful eye of Liverbox. McSloth cannot understand why Liverbox is unhappy because he fetched the mayo RIGHT AWAY!! Liverbox’s fries are freezing cold because he waited so long. Liverbox noticed that his warm Finnish soda had melted the 2 ice cubes that came with it, so making the best out of a bad situation he through in a few of his ice cold fries to cool it down.

PLACE, DATE, TIME: Same as above but 20 minutes later.
After stewing in his juices for 20 minutes, griping to his wife about how he is turning into a Finn because turns the other cheek to horrible customer service (a Finnish trait). And how if he went to complain he would chicken out because he would wonder what all the customers in line would think of them (a very Finnish trait). Liverbox decides “To heck with this, I’m not going to put up with this” and goes to bring back his cold fries. Liverbox’s wife had also strongly “encouraged” him to do it because she said she didn’t want to hear him grousing all afternoon. The manager listens to Liverbox’s tail of woe, APOLOGIZES, takes the fries and RETURNS WITH NEW ONES. It was the first and only time Liverbox ever felt liking kissing a man. It made my weekend.
On the way home Liverbox concludes that the manager must have been born in the US or Mexico, the only two countries Liverbox has visited that have top notch customer service. Phil Finlandforthought

Thursday, September 13, 2007 THE BEATROOT

Bio fuel attacks cost of bread in Poland

FOOD FOR OIL. fRANGI

The cost of bread, this autumn, is set to increase by 100 percent in Poland.

Why? Because the price of grain has increased as more and more farmers are encouraged to use their land for ‘bio-fuel’ products and less for growing food. There is a shortage of grain. That means that the cost of grain derived products is increasing.

Italians have been on a ‘pasta strike’ today in protest against the rising price of spaghetti, etc...

Poles are facing a doubling in the price of bread and other products related to grain this autumn.

And the only reason for this is because the EU is giving greater subsidies to farmers turning over their land to growing rape seed and other products that could be used for bio fuel.

So Jo Kowalski is going to suffer from the current prejudice among middle class westerners that the Earth is going to hell and we should be all producing less – particularly emerging economies like Poland.

So cheers the Green consensus! You are making the price of bread more expensive for many poor people of Poland in your zeal to ‘save the planet’.