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short stories
Crackerland
Mr Bison
December 13, 2007
Adult Fairytale
Once upon a time eighteen year-old Little Red Riding Hood was at home in her
mother's cottage on the edge of the big wood. She was bored because it was
the school holidays, so she was passing the time by pleasuring herself with
a rolling pin. Suddenly her mother burst into her room.
"Where the fuck is my rolling pin. These gingerbread men aren't going to
roll themselves out you know."
Reluctantly Little Red Riding Hood handed it over.
sam
weber
"For Christ's sake!" said her mother, taking the greased rolling pin between
thumb and forefinger, "you've got to get out of the fucking house."
Little Red Riding Hood stared moodily at the floor.
"Why don't you wait until I've finished these gingerbread men and then take
some to your grandmother?"
"Aw, Mum!" said Little Red Riding Hood petulantly, "that's miles away. Can I
take the car?"
"No you fucking can't!" said her mother "gas is over three dollars and you
know I can't afford it since your father ran off with that cleaner we hired,
that Cinderella bitch. You can walk. There's a perfectly good path through
the wood and it will do you good. It'll keep your mind off dirty thoughts
and self-pleasure too, you filthy girl."
So Little Red Riding Hood got dressed up in her best clothes and took a
basket of gingerbread, fresh from the oven. As she walked out of the cottage
her mother shouted "And I don't want to catch you wanking off the wooden boy
from next door again. Do you understand?"
Little Red Riding Hood casually flipped off her mother and started down the
path to her grandmother's cottage in the middle of the big wood. As she
walked, the trees seemed to close in around her. The cheerful chirp of birds
died down slowly and the sun began to shine less brightly. "Fucking weather"
she thought to herself, "if it starts to rain I'm going home, and granny can
stuff her bastard gingerbread right up her wrinkly arse."
However, unbeknownst to Little Red Riding Hood, a large wolf was watching
her progress down the path. He licked his lips as he peeked out at her from
behind a tree. "Fucking tits on that!" he muttered to himself "What I wouldn't
give to bang the arse off her!" And he reached down to give his hairy
wolf-cock a squeeze. As Little Red Riding Hood walked on, the wolf followed
carefully behind, hiding in the trees. He couldn't afford to be seen, not
since that nasty business with the little pig girl. God, the fuss that had
caused in the village!
Eventually Little Red Riding Hood stopped and sat down. The wolf sidled out
from the trees and strolled casually up. "Hello little girl. What a fine day
it is! And where would you be going on such a beautiful day?"
"I'm taking this gingergread to my grandmother's cottage in the middle of
the wood." replied Little Red Riding Hood, not failing to notice the
impressive vulpine dick hanging between the wolf's back legs.
"That's a wonderful thing. So kind. I do like to see young people taking an
interest in looking after their elders" he fawned, gazing unsubtlely at
Little Red Riding Hood's pert nipples, clearly visible through her shirt. He
felt himself begin to harden. "Well, I'd better be getting on" he added
quickly, turning back towards the trees before the "lipstick" began to show.
"Maybe see you around" he called back cover his shoulder.
Eventually Little Red Riding Hood resumed her walk and, not thirty minutes
later, arrived at her grandmother's cottage. She knocked on the door. "Come
in" came a shrill voice from inside, and she opened the door and walked in.
"It's so dark in here grandmother" said Little Red Riding Hood.
"I know" came the reply "but I've had the electric cut off again, and I
haven't been able to get to the bank, what with my piles and all."
Little Red Riding Hood approached the bed. "My, what a big nose you have
grandmother!" she exclaimed. "All the better to smell you with" her
grandmother replied "and you smell pretty damn good to me."
"And what big eyes you have!" said Little Red Riding Hood. "All the better
to see those tits of yours" came the reply. "Oh shit" thought Little Red
Riding Hood, "granny's off her meds again." She stepped closer to the bed.
"And what big teeth you have!" she cried. "All the better to eat you with!"
called her grandmother. And she jumped out of the bed, revealing herself to
be the wolf dressed in her grandmother's nighdress.
"Fucking hell!" said Little Red Riding Hood "what did you do with granny?"
"She's at the bingo" said the wolf "it's pension day - the bitch won't be
back for hours."
"Really?" said Little Red Riding Hood, licking her lips "I think you said
something about eating me. Well let's see what you can do." And she lay back
on the bed and slipped off her panties, inviting the wolf to bury his snout
in her moist snatch. Well, the wolf was up to the task and very soon he had
Little Red Riding Hood at the point of no return. She screamed out at the
top of her voice, gripping the wolf by his ears as she came. Then, as she
lay back on the pillow, contemplating his massive erect hairy wolf-pole, the
door to the cottage burst open and a woodcutter leapt in with a large axe
and decapitated the wolf with a single stroke.
"What the fuck!" she exclaimed, jumping up and smoothing down her dress "what
did you do that for?"
"I heard your screams" he replied "and came to help."
"Are you shitting me? Do I look like I need help?"
"Well I'm sorry" said the woodcutter "but it's only a wolf - what's the big
deal?"
"What's the big deal?" said Little Red Riding Hood, picking up the wolf's
severed head from the floor "Do you see this tongue? All the better to lick
me with. Now fuck off and play with your chopper somewhere else. Dumb
motherfucker."
And Little Red Riding Hood picked up her basket of gingerbread and stomped
out of the cottage.
Edward Bison
Mr Bison
Little Red Riding Hood